Things I Have Not Done, But Ought To Have Done

1. Choose an advisor who wants to work with you.

2. If you are not made for a research career--something you discover as you are doing your dissertation work--acknowledge that, and find another path. Finish the degree if that is not too onerous. Better to have at least one PhD.

3. Publish your dissertation research. Now!

4. If you have a book in process, get the book out, now, not five years from now. The same for articles.

5. If you have a success (say an article published in a top journal), publish more in that area immediately.

6. Wherever you work, you are not above it all. Be enthusiastic, surely in public.

7. You can change your position when you have something more suitable. You may have to build up your portfolio, where you are now, if someone is to be further interested in you elsewhere.

8.  Your colleagues will be suspicious if you publish outside the field, even if you publish well and successfully in the field. You are not being 100% loyal. If you plan to publish outside the field, you may have to use a pseudonym.
 
9. There is likely to be a number of smartasses or grumps in any audience. You must engage them substantively. 

10. What you want is a job, not a grant. If you have a job, you want a grant. Grants without real jobs will not be well received.

11. Produce doctoral students and make sure they get good jobs.

12. It's nice if somebody up there likes you, but it's better if the folks down here like you.