"I am often astounded at how thick the left tail is and how thin the right tail is."

Quality and preeminence are the goals for a football team or a university. In general, you would want a university that the football team could be proud of. Will the faculty aim for excellence in its appointments and promotions rather than solidarity. A colleague remarked to me,  "I am often astounded at how thick the left tail is and how thin the right tail is."